How to Build Confidence?

Gosh, I seem to put this one on almost every list. But if I left it off this list I would be doing you a disservice. Exercise has been one of my most empowering activities in the last couple years, and it has made me feel so much better about myself.

The more you do something, the more you say something, the more you’ll believe in it.

Visualization is the technique of seeing an image of yourself that you are proud of, in your own mind. When we struggle with low self-confidence, we have a poor perception of ourselves that is often inaccurate. Practice visualizing a fantastic version of yourself, achieving your goals.

Empowering yourself, in general, is one of the best strategies for building self-confidence. You can do that in many ways, but one of the surest ways to empower yourself is through knowledge.

If you want to be more self-confident, act like somebody who already is confident! It might feel funny at the beginning, but don’t let it stop you.

It’s a process, and soon you’ll notice how natural and true that behaviour will become.

We shouldn’t grant appearances too much power over our confidence—while a desire to look good is not a futile aspiration, physical flawlessness is not a sustainable source of self-esteem. (Think all the celebrities who profess self-esteem struggles, despite “having it all.”)

What’s on your to-do list that’s been sitting there? Do it first thing in the morning, and get it out of the way. You’ll feel great about yourself.

The way we form our self-image is via a complex mix of perceptions, beliefs and observations. Even though it’s predisposed to skewness, it is an integral part of our characters—in fact, to us, it defines who we believe we are.

Doing something is almost always better than not doing anything. Of course, doing something could lead to mistakes … but mistakes are a part of life. It’s how we learn. Without mistakes, we’d never get better. So don’t worry about those

We tend to behave in accordance with our own self-image. The trick to making lasting change is to change how you view yourself.
Affirmations are positive and uplifting statements that we say to ourselves. These are normally more effective if said out loud so that you can hear yourself say it. We tend to believe whatever we tell ourselves constantly. For example, if you hate your own physical appearance, practice saying something that you appreciate or like about yourself when you next look in the mirror.

Trying to take on a huge project or task can be overwhelming and daunting and intimidating for anyone, even the best of us. Instead, learn to break off small chunks and work in bursts

The myth of the romance literature—that we can find our Christian Grey— by being highly unaware of, or uncertain of our looks and smarts, appears to be rather appealing to many, despite its apparent irrationality.

Small little achievements make you feel good, and they add up to big achievements. Learn to work like this all the time, and soon you’ll be a self-confident maniac.

This might seem like a small, simple thing (then again, for some of you it might not be so small). But it has always worked wonders for me. If my desk starts to get messy, and the world around me is in chaos, clearing off my desk is my way of getting a little piece of my life under control

To get your brain to accept your positive statements more quickly, phrase your affirmations as questions like, “Why am I so good in making deals?” instead of “I am so good at making deals.” Our brains are biologically wired to seek answers to questions, without analyzing whether the question is valid or not.

We want to believe in the “life-can-imitate-fiction” idea so much, that we often fail to identify such starry-eyed fantasies as a possible source of dissatisfaction with our own lives.

“If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.”
The best way to overcome fear is to face it head-on. By doing something that scares you every day and gaining confidence from every experience, you will see your self-confidence soar. So, get out of your comfort zone and face your feaRS

The idea that Prince Charming will fall madly for us one day—just the way we are—also implies the notion that we don’t have to strive for a personal change or development—we just have to be “lucky” to be in the right place, and let the magic happen. Another flawed notion, and quite the anti-embodiment of personal growth.

Some of the harshest comments that we get come from ourselves, via the "voice of the inner critic." If you struggle with low self-confidence, there is a possibility that your inner critic has become overactive and inaccurate.

Fear is a powerful paralyzer to self-improvement and self-assertiveness. It takes plenty of courage and grit to face our monsters and to challenge the status quo, but it’s attainable—with a “growth” mindset.

Strategies like cognitive behavioral therapy help you to question your inner critic, and look for evidence to support or deny the things that your inner critic is saying to you. For example, if you think that you are a failure, ask yourself, “What evidence is there to support the thought that I am a failure?” and “What evidence is there that doesn’t support the thought that I am a failure?”

It’s not as easy as the self-help gurus prescribe—to do one thing that scares us every day, and we will be fear-free and more confident. It may generally work, but we must be first prepared to lose and lose again; to be criticized; to be unsatisfied with how we handled things. In other words, we must firstly be open to accept failure over and over, before we start feeling in control over our fears.

Shutting off our emotions is not necessarily going to make us more self-assured. It’s true that confidence is inversely linked to anxiety, to shyness and to sensitivity, but when seeking respect and acceptance, we shouldn’t only approach others from a position of authority, but also—by building trust, care, compassion.

Jia Jiang has become famous for recording his experience of “busting fear” by purposefully making crazy requests of people in order to be rejected over 100 days. His purpose was to desensitize himself to rejection, after he became more upset than he expected over rejection from a potential investor. Busting fear isn’t easy to do, but if you want to have fun while building up your self-confidence, this is a powerful way to do it.