How to Build Confidence?

Hi

One of the things that held me back from pursuing my dreams for many years was fear of failure … and the lack of self-confidence that I needed to overcome that fear.

This seems like such an obvious one, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and a shave can make in your feelings of self-confidence and for your self-image.

A corollary of the first item above … if you dress nicely, you’ll feel good about yourself.

You’ll feel successful and presentable and ready to tackle the world. Now, dressing nicely means something different for everyone … it doesn’t necessarily mean wearing a $500 outfit, but could mean casual clothes that are nice looking and presentable.

Our self-image means so much to us, more than we often realize. We have a mental picture of ourselves, and it determines how confident we are in ourselves. But this picture isn’t fixed and immutable. You can change it.

One of the things I learned when I started running, about two years ago, what how to replace negative thoughts (see next item) with positive ones.

Goes hand-in-hand with the above item, but it’s so important that I made it a separate item. You have to learn to be aware of your self-talk, the thoughts you have about yourself and what you’re doing.

I want to stop and go watch TV.” Well, I soon learned to recognize this negative self-talk, and soon I learned a trick that changed everything in my life: I would imagine that a negative thought was a bug, and I would vigilantly be on the lookout for these bugs.

When going into battle, the wisest general learns to know his enemy very, very well. You can’t defeat the enemy without knowing him.

Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about yourself, and about the thoughts you have about yourself, and analyzing why you have such negative thoughts.

There is a lot of commotion these days about confidence. We have to be self-assured, we are told, otherwise we may as well forget about success and reaching our goals.

Insecurity is a shameful disease in our 21st century—a weakness and a character flaw, which prevents us from becoming our true selves.

Self-esteem has been extensively studied by many of the great minds of psychology, because of its believed connection to many of the things we deem of importance in our lives—as mental health, physical wellbeing, fulfilment, happiness, self-acceptance.

More than just thinking positive, you have to put it into action. Action, actually, is the key to developing self-confidence. It’s one thing to learn to think positive, but when you start acting on it, you change yourself, one action at a time.

More than just thinking positive, you have to put it into action. Action, actually, is the key to developing self-confidence. It’s one thing to learn to think positive, but when you start acting on it, you change yourself, one action at a time.

Confidence often feels as an elusive aspiration—much like the mysterious phantom kingdom of Shambhala

It’s a wonderland we all want to reach, but no one is absolutely certain of the exact road which leads to it. (some argue that we don’t even need it!)

It’s hard to be confident in yourself if you don’t think you’ll do well at something. Beat that feeling by preparing yourself as much as possible. Think about taking an exam: if you haven’t studied, you won’t have much confidence in your abilities to do well on the exam.

According to psychologists, self-esteem and confidence are different. Prof. Richard Petty from Ohio State University, in his interesting TED talk distinguishes them as: Self-esteem is our opinion about ourselves — how much we like ourselves. Confidence is how sure we are of this judgement.

However, they are very close. While self-esteem is an internal feeling, confidence is its outer manifestation. They are really the two sides of the same coin.

What are the principles upon which your life is built? If you don’t know, you will have trouble, because your life will feel directionless. For myself, I try to live the Golden Rule (and fail often).

Such a simple thing, but it can have a big difference in how others perceive you.

A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels that he isn’t worth listening to will speak quickly

Confidence (or lack of it) is usually quite fluid and can change daily, even hourly