How to Build Confidence?

Regular self-assessments and taking stock of our progress are essential tools for feeling more in control and confident we are advancing, improving, developing, and becoming better drafts of ourselves.

Imagine somebody tells you, you look really nice. What would you respond?

Does “Oh, it’s an old dress.” or “Oh, I actually feel quite tired today” sound familiar to you?

Being self-confident has many benefits. It helps you perform better, get noticed and appreciated for your work, it gets you a promotion and a raise.

On the other hand, shyness and lack of self-confidence can seriously sabotage your efforts and stop you from getting what you want (and what you deserve).

This is why I decided to dedicate a whole blog post to building your self-confiden

You need to remember something. It’s a process. You can’t build self-confidence overnight. The following 12 ways to do so will work best if applied all together and consistently over time

Shutting off our emotions is not necessarily going to make us more self-assured. It’s true that confidence is inversely linked to anxiety, to shyness and to sensitivity, but when seeking respect and acceptance, we shouldn’t only approach others from a position of authority, but also—by building trust, care, compassion.

Confidence is not something that happens to you. It’s a habit. And though you know that you’ll need time and energy to create this new habit, the good news is that you can do. It is something under your control and dependent on you.

A prestigious education and wealth may have some uplifting effects on one’s confidence, but they are not the originators of our self-esteem, nor can they be a sustainable source. Success and achievements are generally the product of our character strengths and belief in ourselves, and not the other way around.

To feel more self-confident, you can use positive affirmation – positive statements that are meant to reprogram your mind to seeing yourself in a better light.

They also tell the story of our characters, of our brand to the world. Use them wisely.

There are a few ways to do it. You can write down your own mantra and repeat it to yourself every morning (or every evening before going to bed).

Words are “living organisms” – they not only have a profound effect on others, but are also shapers of our confidence image. What we say does matter, of course, but how we say it is of no less importance.

“Color Psychology,” or the sub-conscious effect colors have on people, is a real phenomenon, which can influence how others perceive us. For instance, shades of blue, black and red are linked to confidence.

You can write the positive statements on a piece of paper and put it somewhere where you will always see it (stick it on a wall or on a fridge), you can also write your affirmation on a mirror. That’s what I did. Every morning when I get ready I have no other choice but to look at it.

When people act in a self-confident way towards others, they actually feel more self-confident themselves.

Mindfulness meditation, apart from its apparent benefits for our mental health, is also a great way to boost our self-awareness and esteem.

It helps to reign in our anxieties and fears, makes us more open to new experiences, and brings us the much-coveted self-acceptance. It also quiets our minds and self-doubts—thus, removes our self-inflicted impediments to progress and improvement.

Regular self-assessments and taking stock of our progress are essential tools for feeling more in control and confident we are advancing, improving, developing, and becoming better drafts of ourselves.

Emotional intelligence, or ability to recognize and manage our own emotions, as well as those of other people, has been proven to have a powerful link to self-esteem.

The art of “showing off”—when done properly and tastefully—provides a great opportunity to put ourselves in others’ orbits, to be noticed, valued and respected. Simply put, we should learn to emphasize our strengths whenever and wherever possible. Others are neither as perceptive nor care as much as we assume—the only way to get noticed is to make yourself get noticed.

Loving and helping others is important—true, but we shouldn’t forget that the only constant in our universe is truly ourselves. No one can and will love us more than we can cherish ourselves, no matter what the movies tell us. That is, confidence originates from self-respect. It starts within us.

Finally, be cognizant that to enhance our self-esteem is not the same as to feel superior to others.

The whole process is merely a journey toward re-discovering our own worth as human beings, of what we stand for, and how we want to evolve. It’s that simple.